A Complaint to Allah
15 Jan, 2005
Note: This article may be a satire
Allah, you did not practice what you preached. You said, Mo is dearest to me, he is best of creation, he is the top ranked prophet, his mother tongue Arabic will be the language of heaven, he can intercede on judgment day, Iman is not complete unless he is accepted as your rasool. You, and him are mentioned together in quran hundreds of times like you two are equal partners. You and all your angels even sent salam to him. You wrote in the Quran obey me and my apostle, love me and my apostle, follow me and my apostle, listen to me and me my apostle. You left no doubt that he was way higher than all other prophets. He led the prayer of all the prophets in the Meraj night at Jerusalem. Only he could ascend to the 7th heaven to meet you whereas even Jibraeel, the messenger, had to stay back at the 6th heaven. However I personally feel that it was more of lip service than anything else. Actions speak louder than words. You did not deliver what you promised. Let us examine what you really did for my beloved (and your beloved) Mo in comparison to what you did for other prophets.
- You gave Noah a life of 950 years, you gave Mo only 63 years. What a shame. Even Ibn Afak, an infidel Jew lived to be 120 and died only when Mo had him assassinated.
- You made Adam 60 cunits (30 meters) tall but you made Mo less than six feet. Even many infidel 7 feet tall basket ball players dwarf the greatest prophet
- You made Yousuf so handsome that even his boss's wife chased him around . As far as Mo is concerned, he was the one doing the chasing. Many women even shunned him. As a matter of fact every time he came to Juavaria, his gorgeous captured-women-turned-wife for a quickie, she would stand up and start praying namaz to avoid him (she was known to pray for hours until horny Mo had to go next door to another wife to fulfill his desire). Once he proposed to have sex with a noble woman, she refused and prayed for protection from Allah, how insulting for an apostle. Many of his marriages could not be consummated (perhaps because the young girls given in marriage by fathers probably started crying when they saw the naked old man).
- You gave Jesus the power to make dead people live, give back parents to orphans and husbands to widows. The only power you gave Mo was to make live people dead, take away parents from children and husbands from wives which any common criminal can do.
- You gave Sulaiman power to control Jinns who used to bring him treasures from the bottom of the sea. Mo had to rely on himself and his cronies to acquire wealth by looting and pillaging.
- You saved Ibrahim's son Ismail when he was trying to behead him after a bad dream by replacing his son with a ram. You did no such saving when Mo's sons were dying in infancy.
- When Younus prayed from inside the stomach of a large fish you listened and saved his life. When Mo prayed from the lap of Ayesha you did not listen, and let him die.
- You gave long lives to children of Dawood and Yaqoob. Mo had to bury six of his seven children who died young . The 7th (Fatima) died 2 months after his death before reaching 20.
- You yourself came down to earth to meet Moses. Mo was escorted by Jibraeel on the back of a winged horse and travel billions of miles to see you ( I bet he had a very sore behind after the trip). Could you not come down yourself for your best man.
- You gave real miracles to all prophets. Ibrahim could convert burning fire into a garden. Moses could convert his staff into a snake, walk through an ocean, give life to a dead cow. Jesus could cure the sick, give eyes to the blind, give life to the dead, make a clay bird fly, talk right after birth. Noah could build an arc to carry millions of animals. Sulaiman could communicate with jinns and animals. All of them had something to show except Mo. When Mo asked for a miracle you gave a run around and said Quran is your miracle. Some miracle, a hodgepodge of silly fables and a collection of misinformation. A book which says Sun sets in muddy spring, stars are missiles to attack jinns, Moon is a lamp, Sun goes around the Earth, mountains are pegs and sky is in seven solid layers. Even kids are laughing at his miracle.
- You gave Sulaiman mastery of all the tongues of animal kingdom. Mo could not even read or write his own mother tongue.
- You gave many prophets the ability to cure (Ayub could cure himself by prayer). When sick people came to them they gave them health. When sick people came to Mo , he gave them camel urine (no wonder some of them went berserk after drinking fresh camel urine and committed murders). He could not cure even his own sons whom he desired and loved dearly, all three died in infancy.
- You sent ababil birds to defeat an army on elephants to protect your own house Kaaba. No ababils showed up when Mo's house in Madina was attacked three times. He almost got killed once.
- Sulaiman was helped by superhuman invisible help in his wars. No such help for Mo. Yes he won many wars but It was the lure of booty, captured women and the 72 perpetually virgin houris in heaven for martyrs which made his soldiers fight and win, not your ababil birds or the thousands of angels which were promised but never showed up.
- You were sending Jibraeel for every little information, even to show how to wipe asses, why didn't you send him to warn Mo against eating the poisoned meat which pained him so much and eventually took his life?
In view of the above facts, can you still say you were fair to Mo.